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In recent years, the soft life has taken over social media timelines and feeds. From curated morning routines with bubble baths to Black women sipping lattes in silky robes while candles flicker in the background, this aesthetic of rest, luxury and ease is often dismissed as indulgent, unserious or out of touch.
But within Black communities, especially among Black women and femmes, the soft life isn’t just a vibe. It’s resistance.
To live softly as a Black person in a world that demands your labour, your grief and your silence is to defy a system built on extraction. It’s saying no to burnout culture. No to constant survival mode. And no to the idea that rest and care are things we must earn.
Historically, Black communities have been denied softness. From slavery to settler colonialism to modern capitalism, rest wasn’t just withheld, it was weaponized. For centuries, Black people have been expected to endure without complaint, to be strong for everyone else, to sacrifice even their peace for the sake of getting by.
The “strong Black woman” trope, for example, has long romanticized Black suffering, rewarding resilience while ignoring pain.
But more and more, Black women are rejecting that narrative. They’re reclaiming leisure, therapy and tenderness, not as privileges, but as necessities. For many, this is deeply intentional work rooted in survival and legacy.
Writer and activist Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, has popularized the phrase “rest is resistance.” Her work encourages Black people to slow down and center their humanity in a world that often denies it. Resting is a form of resistance because it disrupts and pushes back against capitalism and white supremacy.
In this light, soft living is radical. It means redefining what success looks like—not by how much you produce or endure, but by how deeply you care for yourself and your community. It’s recognition that we don’t have to earn rest, joy or peace. We are worthy of it just by our existence.
This ethos is also shaping how Black entrepreneurs and creatives are building their businesses. Wellness brands, skincare lines and luxury services are increasingly centering Black consumers by designing experiences rooted in cultural nuance and emotional care, not merely through surface-level marketing. Across Ontario, from Toronto to Windsor, Black-owned spas, yoga studios and companies go beyond selling products, they cultivate spaces for healing.
The soft life isn’t about extravagance. It’s about choice:
Choosing to take a breath when the world tells you to grind harder.
Choosing therapy over toxic strength.
Choosing joy even when there’s sorrow.
For some, it’s booking a solo trip. For others, it’s staying in bed all day without guilt. For many, it’s finding community and sisterhood, softness and self-celebration.
It’s important to acknowledge, however, that not everyone has equal access to this kind of rest. The ability to live softly is still shaped by class, gender and other intersecting systems. That’s why softness must also include advocacy: fighting for paid leave, affordable mental health care, universal basic income and policies that prioritize care over capitalism.
But the cultural shift is happening. More Black folks are openly prioritizing rest without shame. They’re creating new blueprints for thriving, not just surviving. They’re redefining success on their own terms. And in doing so, they’re showing that softness is not weakness, it’s power.
So, the next time you see a Black woman resting, glowing, laughing freely, know that it’s more than a mood.
It’s a refusal.
A refusal to be defined by trauma.
A refusal to be overworked and under-loved.
A refusal to wait until retirement to enjoy life.
The soft life is not an escape from reality.
It’s a declaration:
We deserve more than what this world has offered us.
And we are choosing to build a better future.
Where peace and pleasure, as well as protection, are our birthright.
Not a reward.
Lavanya Kathirgamanathan is one of the Writers for this year’s publication at Black Voice. She’s a recent graduate from Toronto Metropolitan University, where she studied Journalism and will further her education in Human Resources at George Brown College. Lavanya has experience writing for multiple publications and has her own food blog on social media. Lavanya’s main goal as a writer for the Black Voice publication is to showcase Black excellence within the community, and in the city of Toronto.