The Soft Life Isn’t Just a Trend-It’s Resistance
In recent years, the soft life has taken over social media timelines and feeds. From curated morning routines with bubble baths to Black women sipping lattes in silky robes while candles flicker in the background, this aesthetic of rest, luxury and ease is often dismissed as indulgent, unserious or out of touch. But within Black communities, especially among Black women and femmes, the soft life isn’t just a vibe. It’s resistance. To live softly as a Black person in a world that demands your labour, your grief and your silence is to defy a system built on extraction. It’s saying no to burnout culture. No to constant survival mode. And no to the idea that rest and care are things we must earn. Historically, Black communities have been denied softness. From slavery to settler colonialism to modern capitalism, rest wasn’t just withheld, it was weaponized. For centuries, Black people have been expected to endure without complaint, to be strong for everyone else, to sacrifice even their peace for the sake of getting by. The “strong Black woman” trope, for example, has long romanticized Black suffering, rewarding resilience while ignoring pain. But more and more, Black women are rejecting that narrative. They’re reclaiming leisure, therapy and tenderness, not as privileges, but as necessities. For many, this is deeply intentional work rooted in survival and legacy. Writer and activist Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, has popularized the phrase “rest is resistance.” Her work encourages Black people to slow down and center their humanity in a world that often denies it. Resting is a form of resistance because it disrupts and pushes back against capitalism and white supremacy. In this light, soft living is radical. It means redefining what success looks like—not by how much you produce or endure, but by how deeply you care for yourself and your community. It’s recognition that we don’t have to earn rest, joy or peace. We are worthy of it just by our existence. This ethos is also shaping how Black entrepreneurs and creatives are building their businesses. Wellness brands, skincare lines and luxury services are increasingly centering Black consumers by designing experiences rooted in cultural nuance and emotional care, not merely through surface-level marketing. Across Ontario, from Toronto to Windsor, Black-owned spas, yoga studios and companies go beyond selling products, they cultivate spaces for healing. The soft life isn’t about extravagance. It’s about choice: Choosing to take a breath when the world tells you to grind harder. Choosing therapy over toxic strength. Choosing joy even when there’s sorrow. For some, it’s booking a solo trip. For others, it’s staying in bed all day without guilt. For many, it’s finding community and sisterhood, softness and self-celebration. It’s important to acknowledge, however, that not everyone has equal access to this kind of rest. The ability to live softly is still shaped by class, gender and other intersecting systems. That’s why softness must also include advocacy: fighting for paid leave, affordable mental health care, universal basic income and policies that prioritize care over capitalism. But the cultural shift is happening. More Black folks are openly prioritizing rest without shame. They’re creating new blueprints for thriving, not just surviving. They’re redefining success on their own terms. And in doing so, they’re showing that softness is not weakness, it’s power. So, the next time you see a Black woman resting, glowing, laughing freely, know that it’s more than a mood. It’s a refusal. A refusal to be defined by trauma. A refusal to be overworked and under-loved. A refusal to wait until retirement to enjoy life. The soft life is not an escape from reality. It’s a declaration: We deserve more than what this world has offered us. And we are choosing to build a better future. Where peace and pleasure, as well as protection, are our birthright. Not a reward.
Knocking Down the Struggle Love Narrative in the Black Community
Wanting to be loved is a natural feeling a majority of people have. However, some are willing to accept it in an unhealthy form known as struggle love. Unfortunately, this is a prevalent issue within the Black community and can cause younger generations to have an unhealthy idea of what they should look for when it comes to love. To start off, the term “struggle love” refers to a one-sided relationship where one partner experiences long term stress stemming from their partner’s actions. There are various examples that fall under the struggle love category. Typical examples include: one partner being the sole breadwinner, lack of commitment, abuse, one-sided effort, infidelity, an unhealthy level of codependency, a power imbalance or romanticizing hardships. In the Black community, struggle love seems to be viewed as a requirement, meaning one has to endure pain before they receive healthy love. Typically, Black women are on the receiving end of struggle love. There’s a narrative that Black women have to suffer before they are finally recompensed with an improved partner or a new good man. Another narrative is that Black women are supposed to uplift and be there for a partner who is struggling financially and endure an unreciprocated love. These issues, along with the others mentioned before, can lead to constant arguing and begging for the other partner to put in more work in the relationship. Struggle love has negative impacts. It can take a toll on someone’s well-being, interfere with having peace of mind and affect their physical health. For example, a toxic relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and can lead to difficulties forming healthy relationships in the future. Throughout the years, countless movies catered towards the Black community have featured struggle love. While some of these relationships were deemed as “relationship goals” by younger viewers, those same viewers had a change of mind as they got older and realized how toxic some of those relationships were. Then there are movies where people instantly knew the relationships being displayed was a struggle love relationship. An example of struggle love is portrayed in the 2018 film, Acrimony. Taraji P. Henson’s character, Melinda, believed in her college sweetheart Robert, played by Lyriq Bent. She supported her boyfriend-turned husband financially and through her time and well-being while being repaid with broken promises by an unemployed Robert. Although Robert was going through financial struggles, he remained ambitious. However, those ambitions led to him being neglectful, unappreciative and deceptive towards Melinda who sacrificed a lot for him. However, in this case, the movie did not end with Melinda getting her happy ending. Her bitterness got the best of her, leading her to lose her life. Although the aforementioned film has a struggle love narrative, there are films that provide a good example of a healthy Black love. The 2020 film The Photograph is a positive depiction of love in a Black romantic comedy. The film’s plot surrounds a relationship between two middle-class Black millennial professionals played by Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield. While the film touches on the problem the pair eventually overcomes, it stays away from trauma, abuse, infidelity and dishonesty, while highlighting communication, compassion, curiosity and courage. Everyone has days where they’re down on their luck. However, that is far from what struggle love is. Also, while no one should refer to anyone’s relationship as “goals,” promoting a love that is healthy and happy is something the Black community needs to be better at. This will lead to the harmful cycle of struggle love within the community becoming broken. People deserve a relationship with a partner who will show up for them and meet them halfway with the understanding that it’s give and take.
The History and Importance of Tattoos
Tattoos have been around forever. Evidence of this comes from the 61 markings on a mummy that’s over 5300 years old. Historians also look to the Egyptians as one of the earliest cultures that had tattoos. Indigenous Polynesians groups (like Samoans and Tahitians) have a long history with tattoos as well. In fact, it is assumed that the word ‘tattoo’ comes from the Samoan word ‘tatau’. In the 21st century, tattoo culture has gone through so many changes. This includes, but is not limited to, who gets tattoos, where they are placed, what they mean and who gives them. The change has been major for Black people, who often had (and still have) aversions to getting permanently inked. The shift towards embracing tattoos does come with some challenges. History and culture of tattoos Many Indigenous peoples largely practiced tattooing until Christian missionaries came into their communities and restricted the practice. They saw it as savage and pagan. Ideas like this prevailed in North America. Going back to the early 1900s, circus-goers had a fascination with “freaks” who had tattoos. As World Wars 1 and 2 waged on, tattoos became more popular with the soldiers who were fighting. They took this time to get emblematic tattoos (this still happens with soldiers today). One tattoo artist became popular around this time: Sailor Jerry. The tattoo culture then shifted again, and people weren’t getting inked as much. As a result of this shift, many groups like punks, hippies and bikers got tattoos as a protest to the conservative culture they lived in. This developed into bolder tattoos (the 80s) then into symbols like hearts and flowers (the 90s). The growing influence of celebrities increased the popularity of tattoos. The rise in tattoo shows like Miami Ink are thought to have increased tattooing’s popularity. The popularity of tattoos was mostly in white groups. For people of colour, especially Black and Latino people, tattoos came with some assumptions. However, opinions have been shifting in the communities. Black people and tattoos Tattooing as a trend Some people see the popularizing of tattoos with Black people as a trend that comes from being influenced by social media and celebs. Whether this is good or bad is completely subjective. It is good advice to make up your mind on whether something as permanent as a tattoo is right for you. Tattoo artists’ limitations With more Black people deciding to get tattoos, they are noticing a concerning trend: some tattoo artists don’t know how to tattoo darker skin. There’s normally some level of research that goes into finding an artist that knows how to tattoo melanated skin. The solution for many Black people who want tattoos is to go to Black tattoo artists. The search for this results in finding out that there aren’t many Black artists as they face rejection from the predominantly white community. Some progress has been achieved, but there’s still more to be made. Some artists believe that colour theory would help improve tattoo work on Black skin. This improvement would require tattoo artists to acquire a new skill set. Those who are willing to work on Black skin can and should put in the time to learn. It’s important to recognize that there are some problems in tattooing. There’s a chance of getting HIV or hepatitis from a tattoo needle; however, the risk is very low if the needle used is brand new. For more melanated clients, there is a risk of developing a keloid (raised scar), though some artists have thought of ways to reduce this. Professionalism One thing that gets brought up a lot is professionalism in tattoos. Capitalism brought professionalism with it. This is the idea that things must be done in a way that makes work productive. This, of course, came with bias, especially against non-white workers. Black people who have had to straighten or cut their hair to go to work know what the negative side of professionalism looks like. Tattoos are constantly under professionalism’s scrutiny. In recent years, there has been a shift in working people getting inked and that comes with the change in how society views tattoos. A general thought is that it’s people who do the work, not their hair or clothes or tattoos. Tattoos’ permanence Getting a tattoo comes with many risks, one of them being getting stuck with a “bad” piece. Bad is subjective, but, in this context, it involves tattoos that you no longer want for any reason (a band you no longer like or whatever else). Removal options do exist, but they can be expensive, time-consuming and may affect Black people’s skin differently. Some people opt to cover tattoos they regret, so that’s a workaround. For many people though, permanence is the point. They use tattoos to remind themselves of an important time/person/etc. in their life or of something they overcame. Inking their body means they have that physical reminder. People see it as a form of personal expression or like a diary. Black people have undoubtedly gained more interest in getting tattoos (even the trendy ones). Hopefully this gets more artists to work on Black skin and gets more Black tattoo artists in studios. There’s beauty in diversity; hopefully the tattoo industry can embrace that.
Highlighting Black Canadian female athletes
Canada is blessed with many talented athletes of all different backgrounds. Athletes of various ethnicities, religions and upbringings have represented this country and thrived on the biggest stages in sports. Over the years, we have seen many great Black athletes don the red and white colours of Canada. These athletes have done it all in their respective sports: MVPs, individual accolades, championship trophies, gold medals and much more. Specifically, Black Canadian women have paved the way for young girls to follow in their footsteps and grow the world of sports in Canada. Here are a few of the great Black Canadian female athletes who have represented this nation in recent years. Kia Nurse Kia Nurse comes from a family of athletes. Her father Richard played in the Canadian Football League (CFL) and her mother Cathy played basketball at McMaster University. Nurse’s older brother, Darnell, plays in the National Hockey League (NHL) for the Edmonton Oilers, while her older sister Tamika played basketball in university for Oregon and Bowling Green. Nurse’s cousin is Sarah Nurse, who plays in the Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL) for the Toronto Sceptres, and her uncle is former Pro Bowl NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb. Given this incredible athletic family lineage, it’s no wonder the point guard would go on to have a successful basketball career. Kia Nurse’s career accolades include two NCAA Championships with the University of Connecticut (UConn) in 2015 and 2016, a Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) All-Star appearance in 2019, two championships in the Women’s National Basketball League (WNBL) in Australia in 2019 and 2020, as well as a WNBL MVP award in 2020. She has also represented Team Canada at the Olympic Games three times in a row at Rio in 2016, Tokyo in 2020, and Paris in 2024. In seven WNBA seasons, Nurse holds career averages of 9.2 points per game, 2.4 rebounds per game and 1.7 assists per game. Still only 29 years old, Kia Nurse will likely continue to lead the way for many Canadian women in basketball for the foreseeable future. Camryn Rogers In 2024, Camryn Rogers achieved arguably her greatest career accomplishment to date. According to Olympic.ca, Rogers became Canada’s first ever Olympic medallist in women’s hammer throw when she won the gold medal at Paris 2024 with a best throw of 76.97m. Rogers also became the first Canadian woman to win Olympic gold at an individual track and field event since 1928. Aside from her Olympic gold medal, Rogers has a long list of accolades over the course of her career. These include a silver medal at the 2022 World Athletics Championships, a gold medal at the 2022 Commonwealth Games, as well as two gold medals at the U20 Pan American and World athletics championships in 2017 and 2018, respectively. Rogers also set a personal best and Canadian women’s record for hammer throw in May 2023 with a distance of 78.62 metres. She then followed this up three months later at the 2023 World Athletics Championships, winning a gold medal in hammer throw with a distance of 77.22 metres. At 26 years old, Camryn Rogers figures to be one of Canada’s best sportswomen for years to come and will likely add more medals to her already impressive trophy cabinet.
Trends that Started in Black Culture Before the Internet Caught Up
By the time the internet finally “discovered” something, Black folks have usually already been doing it for years; in fact, they were probably already bored and moved onto the next trend. From fashion and language to dance and meme-worthy expressions, Black culture has been the blueprint behind a majority of it. Here’s a look into some of the biggest trends that were thriving in Black communities before they became internet sensations. Edges Before TikTok tutorials and $30 edge brushes, Black women had already mastered the art of swooped baby hairs with a toothbrush and some gel. But laying edges goes way back — according to NKENNE, it was popularized as early as the 1920s by icons like Josephine Baker, whose sculpted swoops were bold, beautiful, and unapologetically Black. During the Civil Rights era, laid edges became a form of cultural expression and pride, often paired with afros and braids. By the ’90s, edge styling was a full-blown art form in Black and Afro-Latinx communities, long before it hit Pinterest boards. So no, it’s not a “new trend.” “It’s Giving…” Everything Long before TikTok copycats and late-night ads, “It’s giving…” emerged from Black queer ballroom culture of the 1980s — a succinct way to describe moods, vibes, and even whole aesthetics. According to Later’s social media glossary, phrases like “It’s giving face” or “It’s giving body” instilled confidence and charisma in ballroom performances. Today, the internet uses it just as powerfully: “It’s giving disco queen,” “It’s giving vacation mode,” and “It’s giving my mood.” It’s a humorous, flexible phrase that’s been doing big work long before it ever hit your Instagram captions. Black Twitter: The Cultural Think Tank Black Twitter wasn’t discovered by the internet—it built the internet’s cultural blueprint. As The New York Times explains, it’s “a multiverse, simultaneously an archive and an all-seeing lens into the future”, a place where jokes, commentary, and activism flowed in real time. From early memes like #YouKnowYoureBlackWhen in 2009 to hashtags such as #OscarsSoWhite and #BlackGirlsAreMagic, Black Twitter has flexed serious cultural muscle. It’s been a magical blend of comedy, critique, and community which users were calling “one giant group chat” during tough times like the Great Recession. It also served as a truth-teller and watchdog, live-tweeting tragedies like the killing of Michael Brown in 2014 and spotlighting cases such as Shanquella Robinson’s death, helping to drive a national conversation and even FBI investigations. That cultural engine is being tested as Twitter becomes X under new ownership. Still, as scholars note, Black users have historically turned every platform into their own space, and that creative spirit isn’t going anywhere. The Original TikTok: Cookouts, Church, and Block Parties Before dance challenges went viral online, Black communities were already going off at block parties. According to Smithsonian Magazine, the first hip-hop block party was thrown by DJ Kool Herc and Cindy Campbell in 1973 in the Bronx. What started in a rec room quickly spilled into the streets, sparking a movement. Block parties weren’t just fun — they were resistance, joy, and culture in motion. DJ sets, breakdancing, and community vibes? That’s the blueprint. TikTok could never. Nail Art: When Your Hands Speak Louder Than Words Before minimal neutral nails became a Pinterest favorite, nail art in Black salons were already maximalist, an unapologetic statement of creativity and autonomy. The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History & Culture highlights how Black women have used bold and intricate nail designs not just for style, but to assert independence and challenge Eurocentric beauty ideals. Starting in the 1990s, artists like Bernadette Thompson (credited with innovations like the iconic “money nails” for Lil’ Kim in 1999) propelled nail art into a cultural phenomenon. She embedded real dollar bills into acrylics, so avant-garde that MoMA acquired a pair, making the set the first-ever museum-held nail art. Thompson’s work helped shift perceptions, bringing elaborate nail art from street culture to high fashion and gallery walls. Today’s glitter, gems, 3D charms, and rhinestone florals didn’t appear out of thin air—they’re part of a bold legacy rooted in Black salon culture and artistry long before anyone coined it the “maximalist girl era.” Slang You Thought Was New Those viral phrases you see everywhere? They’re part of a time-honored tradition rooted in Black queer and ballroom communities, long predating their mainstream fandom. According to Columbia Spectator, many Gen Z staples like “slay,” “sis,” “periodt,” and “queen” come straight from Black LGBTQ culture and AAVE, a distinct dialect of English spoken by many African Americans. These terms are not internet inventions — they evolved organically in ballrooms, social circles, and community spaces before trending hashtags repackaged them for mass consumption. Examples: “Slay” meant delivering flawless elegance. “Sis” was a communal acclaim among Black women. “Periodt” offered emphatic closure, often with a snap. “Queen” honored brilliance and dignity. People now live and caption these terms daily, yet the Columbia Spectator rightly points out that they’re “detached from their original contexts,” erasing the vibrant cultural landscapes where they were born. Streetwear Was Always a Thing Streetwear didn’t start with hypebeasts—it started in Black and hip-hop communities decades ago. Strike traces its origins back to the 1980s but notes the style truly exploded in the ’90s during hip-hop’s Golden Age, when baggy pants, oversized jackets, snapbacks, and Air Jordans became iconic thanks to artists using fashion in music videos and award shows. Brands like FUBU, Sean John, Karl Kani, Phat Farm, and later Baby Phat by Kimora Lee Simmons catered directly to Black youth, embedding streetwear into cultural identity. Nike’s 1985 introduction of Air Jordans, propelled by athletes and rappers, made sneakers a central pillar of the look. Over time, these styles—huge pants, layered jackets, bold logos—became streetwear templates, only later co-opted by mainstream retail and influencers. The framework was already there; the internet just hit
Anime, Cosplay and the Black Geekdom
Black geekdom and blerds Geek typically means someone who is into technical (computers) things, and a nerd is into academics (books). Both terms were used as insults but have since evolved into becoming more positive as the communities have reclaimed them. The term “geekdom” refers to the state of being a geek while the term “blerd” is a mix of the words Black and nerd. The meanings have become so similar that people have identified as both. The Black geekdom and blerd refer to Black people who have an interest in things like comics, anime and animation among many other things. Blerds began gaining recognition with characters like Geordi La Forge from Star Trek and Steve Urkel in Family Matters. La Forge represented blerds in the sci-fi demographic while Urkel was more of an everyday type of nerd. I want to explore how the Black geekdom and blerds expanded their interests to include Japanese media. To do that, we have to start in the past and come to the present. History and influence of East Asian media Although Japan had been creating animated shows for years, the cartoon style began to shift in the 1960s. Artist Osamu Tezuka (Japanese: Tezuka Osamu) is seen as the forerunner of modern day Japanese animation. He has been called the father of manga (comic books) and godfather of anime (a loanword from “animation”). His hit show Tetsuwan Atomu (English: Astro Boy) helped to raise anime’s popularity both inside and outside of Japan. Western interest in anime Tezuka’s Astro Boy was played in the United States on NBC in 1963. The years that followed showed the U.S. working with Japan to release cartoons and anime. The 80s and 90s saw a boom in both anime and manga in the U.S. While it was easy for some people to watch anime through the networks on TV, others had to go the piracy route. Piracy created a subgenre of American anime fans called “fansub”. The term is a mix of the words fan and subtitle as fans would normally record anime episodes and add subtitles. The first anime group in the U.S., Cartoon/Fantasy Organization (sci-fi convention attendees), began exchanging recorded anime with one another. Later, fans would use VHS tapes to exchange recorded anime. It was expensive for a buyer, but it was worth it to them. These days, Western anime fans are able to use streaming sites like Crunchyroll (that actually started as a piracy site) to watch their favourite shows. History of conventions and cosplay One form of outward interest in Japanese entertainment comes in the form of cosplay at conventions. To understand how it got to this, we have to see how conventions and cosplay became a thing. Modern cosplay in America unofficially started in the early 1930s. Notably, the first World Science Fiction Convention (now Worldcon) saw two attendees wearing futuristic costumes. The attendees, Myrtle R. Douglas and her then-partner Forrest J. Ackerman, have been honoured as the mother and father of convention costuming, respectively. The year after they dressed up, the con had a costume competition. This became tradition at other cons. Convention costuming is now known as cosplaying–a loanword from Japanese meaning costume play. As manga and anime become more popular in the west, cosplayers’ outfits have more inspiration. Cosplayers often go as their favourite character in a manga/anime or as a popular anime character. They go to comic-cons (comics/comic book conventions) quite often and are a large part of competitions. Blerd representation at cons in cosplay For years, a lot of cons have had more white attendees than any other group. In recent years, there has been an increase in Black cosplayers (blerds) at these events. This could be because of the rise in Black representation in comics/manga and cartoons/anime. Even though Black cosplayers could have been any character, every community likes to see someone who looks like them. More Black characters equal more options for Black cosplayers. We cannot underestimate the role that TikTok and other social media have had in increasing blerds’ interests in anime, cosplay and animation. Being able to see that you have a community within your specific interests is empowering. We see celebrities like award-winning rapper Megan Thee Stallion cosplaying. She also has shown how much interest she has in anime. We see Black YouTubers like RDCWorld1 and CalebCity create successful videos around their interests in anime. This success helped RDCWorld to create their own convention (Dream Con) that welcomes a diverse community. Megan Thee Stallion even attended Dream Con and her liquor company was a sponsor of the event. “She gon’ be Black today” It’s important to address some of the racism that Black cosplayers experience. Many Black cosplayers have been told that they shouldn’t cosplay anyone who isn’t Black. This is hard to do, especially in the anime space. Many of the characters aren’t Black or they are drawn to portray negative stereotypes of Black people. Also, you don’t have to be the same colour as a character to portray them. TikTok has given creators/cosplayers a space to address this. Creator Afrococopuffs made a viral sound: “Hinata isn’t Black, Hinata isn’t Black, she gon’ be Black today.” She is highlighting how a Black cosplayer can dress as a non-Black character (Hinata is a character from Naruto). There are still some hurdles that Black cosplayers have to cross, but many feel that change has been developing over time. More descriptors and blerds Some other terms to consider: weeaboo/weeb and otaku. Weeaboo/weeb started as an insult for those who were overly obsessed with Japan and its culture. While it is still defined that way, many people use it in a positive way. The Japanese loanword “otaku” started as a negative term in Japan. However, its meaning in the West has come to be used in place of geek and nerd for people who indulge in Japanese media. There are still
Being Invited to the Cookout: Why Cultural Belonging Can’t Be Memefied
“You’re invited to the cookout.” On the internet, the phrase has become shorthand for a rare level of acceptance into Black culture. But there’s more going on than a viral tweet; it’s about real community, and it wasn’t born online. According to knowyourmeme.com, the hashtag #WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout first blew up on Twitter in 2019, spotlighting white celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio and Adele, who’d earned a figurative “invite” by showing genuine love or appreciation for Black culture. Reddit user RadiantSun summed it up: “It’s usually used when referring to a white person who shows allyship to Black people.” For folks outside the community, earning an “invite” means you went beyond performative allyship, or, as humorous as it sounds, your dancing or seasoning were honest enough. But cookouts aren’t just for show. According to a 2024 article by Dayne Bell for Basement Medicine, in real life, the Black cookout is an anchor of kinship. They’re backyard rituals packed with cousins, dominoes, ribs, and unresolved family arguments told over smoke clouds. To be “invited” isn’t a gesture; it’s permission to participate in a space rich with unspoken norms and history. These gatherings, Bell says, are built on deep familiarity with food traditions, inside jokes, and who gets the last rib. Early internet versions of the meme celebrated well-seasoned potato salad; later iterations began to challenge those who only checked a diversity box. The core question became: are you here for real? Research suggests that belonging isn’t just about feeling included; it’s about being seen, valued, and understood within cultural context. It’s a fundamental human need. That feeling of being included doesn’t come from a viral clip — it comes from shared history, language, inside humor and, yes, messy family BBQs that happen when someone is late and everyone’s drunk and Auntie’s still not leaving. Meme culture can simulate belonging, shared laughter, shorthand language, and community in comments, but it’s ultimately surface-level. You can trend on Twitter, but can you bounce from the kitchen to grill? As Bell warns, handing out invites online can feel like awarding Grammys to SoundCloud rappers: it cheapens what cookouts really represent. So What Does “Being Invited to the Cookout” Mean, Really? Acknowledgment, not entitlement You’re respected because you’ve shown love through your actions, whether that’s learning the recipes, listening to the meaning, or showing up ready to be part of the moment. Community over performance It’s about building relationships, not trending. It’s about showing up the next time casserole’s requested, not just posting a clap emoji. Cultural fluency, not clicks Memes teach awareness. Real belonging teaches understanding, empathy, and comfort in cultural rhythm. Don’t Meme This. Live it. It’s charming to screenshot a tweet and caption “I’m invited!” But belonging—true belonging—isn’t a meme you collect. It’s a bridge you build: one plate, one conversation and one shared meal at a time. So if you get that cookout invite, don’t celebrate online. Celebrate in person. Show up early with sides, laugh loudly at spilled drinks, learn culture stories, because cultural belonging can’t be memefied. It has to be felt. And that kind of connection—spine-shaking bass, sunburned shoulders, family arguments over tarot cards—is something no hashtag can hold.
Hair salons: a valuable third space for Black women
By Thean Sargeant When we think of hair salons, we might think of getting our hair cut, styled, dyed, etc. While those are the fundamental services of a salon, other features feel more specific to the Black community. For years, many have used these salons as a third space. A third space is a social surrounding outside of the home (first place) and the workplace (second place). To understand why these salons are now a valuable third place for Black people, we must comprehend why they were created in the first place. Many professional stylists don’t know how to do Black hair (Black hair refers to curly and coily/kinky hair). As Elle Canada explains, “It’s ignoring a whole entire demographic of women and acting like they don’t exist.” In Ontario, the Red Seal Program offers acourse that deals with hair relaxing and haircuts, but nothing on styling Black hair. OneRefinery29articleputs it this way: “Ontario’s curriculum includes how to chemically relax hair (a Eurocentric standard of beauty), but not how to do styles, like locs, box braids, or twists.” European hair – straight and thin hair – is the standard subject for hairstylists who are educated to adapt Black hair to that style, instead of styling the hair as it is. On cutting Black hair, the sameRefinery29articlesays, “the theory of cutting textured hair may be taught in a single day, and students might never actually touch coils before they go to work in a salon.” Some stylists never work with afros, which results in them having no experience working with Black hair. All of this to say, when a Black person needs their hair done, relying on just any type of salon to style them isn’t an option. Enter, Black hair salons. Many of the head stylists in these salons are self-taught and work to teach other women, Black or not, how to work with Black hair. When Black people (Black women, the majority of the time) have a salon, the Black customers automatically assume that they have found someone who can style their hair. According to a blog post from skincare brand Faace, “Our hair is the default. The standard.” There’s no need to call to verify ahead of time – all you need is to know the price and available times for them to do your desired hairstyle. In a way, it humanizes us as Black people. As the same article mentions, these salons serve as a place where Black hair is enshrined, whether intentionally or not, making them a valuable third space for Black people. American sociologist Ray Oldenburg outlineseight characteristics that make up a third place. Here’s how they work in the context of a Black hair salon: Neutral ground The space should allow visitors to be free to visit as they please. This is exactly how the Black hair salon is. No visitor is forced to be in the space. Leveler Your status in society should not matter. No rules should prevent you from entering. While hair salons do charge for hairstyles, people popping in to chat with everyone without paying is very common. Conversation is the main activity Light-hearted and funny conversations are valued. In hair salons, topics revolving around hair and life are extremely common. Many of the women who go to salons are working mothers with many stories to share. On their website, Faace referred to the experience of someone whose mom would have deep conversations with her stylist. Later, she became someone who sharesimportant moments in her life with her stylist. Accessibility and accommodation Visitors should beattendedto and have their needs fulfilled. Salons, especially those in Ontario, are low-level andare easilyaccessible to anyone. Salons also anticipate that visitors plan to stay a while and should have light snacks for purchase. The regulars The regulars populate the space and encourage others to come. This happens so often that it’s almost the reason why Black hair salons stay open. Regulars know who styles them best and, either by word of mouth or social media, they get others to come to their salon. A low profile A cozy place that isn’t snobby. Again, this is what hair salons are at their core. They havethe equipment to style hair, a place to relaxwhen it isn’t your turn, an area for snacks, and a washroom. Nothing too showy. The mood is playful Third places value a light mood. One minute,the salon’s air is filled with laughter and another minute,there is a discussion that the visitors deem necessary.Voguesays, “Barriers are erased and Black women – friends, strangers, sisters – can share, bond, laugh and express themselves freely without restraint or explanation.” A home away from home The space feels warmand makes visitors feel like they’re at home. Jasmine Wicks Stephens for Faaceexplainsin a Black History Month article “It’s still a place I look forward to visiting and enjoy attending as a busy working mum when I’m in need of that all-important ‘me time.’”Instead of a self-care day at home, the author knows she can findpeace at the salon. Unfortunately, not all Black people will always feel the most welcomed at the salon – especially those outside of the “norm” as Refinery29 describes it. The third space can experience an invasion of negativity towards certain groups, which can cause discomfort to those who are a part of or are allied with those groups. Hopefully, more salons realize that certain topics and beliefs don’t always have to be voiced. The ultimate hope is that these salons, these third spaces, continue to remain as places where Black people can go and be their authentic, relaxed selves – and also make changes where they can.
Black-owned luxury brands
By Thean Sargeant Aluxury brand isdefined as an expensive product or service provided by a particular company witha reputation for being of high quality. Luxury brand products cost anywhere from hundreds of dollars and upwards. While luxury brands are generallyseen as tenaciousin enteringintobrick-and-mortar stores, the exclusivity, considerably, lies in its cost. Here are three Black founders of luxury brands. Telfar Clemens Telfar Clemens was an accounting student at Pace University in New York City. It was at university in 2005 that he created his unisex and vegan brandTelfar, named after himself. The brand’s logo is a monogram of Telfar’s initials. The company’s website shows that the brand offers its popular bag the Shopping Bag, a.k.a. the “it” bag, in all kinds of designs: denim, fleece, and monogram jacquard (the TC monogram printisall over). It also carries accessories likebelts, jewellery, apparel (select clothing drops and tracksuits), and shoes. According to the website, Telfar has also collaborated with other brands: Eastpak, Melissa, Moose Knuckle, and UGG. The brand’s regular ‘Shopping Bag’ drops are highly exclusive on the Telfar website. The customer would have to order right away or wait for another drop. The brand can bepurchasedin Canada from stores likeBrown’s andHolt Renfrew, but they only sell collaboration bags. Celebrities likeBeyoncé, Sasha Obama, and Bella Hadidhave been seen with a Telfar bag. Jerry Lorenzo Designer Jerry Lorenzo created Fear of God in 2011. Right away the brand sounds like a Christian company, but Lorenzo hassaid that while he is Christian, Fear of God is not a Christian company. The brand’s clothing wasinspired by Lorenzo wanting to make clothes he could also wear. Onearticle on medium.com describes the garments as “high-quality garments that were both stylish and comfortable” and “elevated basics.” The comfortability of Lorenzo’s clothing comes from its oversized designs. Many of the clothes have a neutral colour palette. The brand expanded in 2018 when Lorenzo created Essentials, a lower-cost line similar to the outlet version of luxury brands. Since being in the fashionindustry, Lorenzo has styled celebrities and worked with Vans, Nike, and Adidas. Fear of God’sathletics line was launched in December 2023 in collaboration with Adidas. Only some clothes bear the Adidas logo. Celebrities who have been seen wearing Fear of GodincludeJustin Bieber, Dwayne Wade, and Queen Latifah. Sonique Saturday This self-titled brand’s most popular products are designer-like bags with painted slogans. For instance, the most popular bag resembles aBirkin with the line “You Fake Like This Birkin” hand-painted across the front. The company’swebsite says Sonique has been in the fashion industry for over a decade. While in school, she customised a handbag for herself and it captured her classmates’ attention. She moved to Los Angeles in 2012 where she worked and networked. While working at a shop, Sonique painted a bag and displayed it in the windowwhich garnered attention. The brand Sonique Saturday was born two years later. The brand started expanding in 2021 and now has more to offer like wall art, hats, phone cases, etc. Soniquesaid that this addition was done to attract more customers and has “enhanced the overall shopping experience.” Her bags arecustom-made to order and vegan (yes, there is abag with “Yep, It’s Vegan” painted on it). Sonique has apartnership with Urban Necessities in Las Vegas that has the bags displayed in the store. Shesays this “not only increased brand visibility, but also established a sense of trust among customers who preferred offline shopping.”
The Rise of Black Plant Enthusiasts: Gardening for The Heart and Healing
By: Lavanya Kathirgamanathan Over recent years, a growing community of Black plant enthusiasts has transformed the garden into a new space for health and healing. This trend highlights the therapeutic benefits of gardening and the increasing prominence of Black-owned plant nurseries that cater to plant communities and online platforms. Gardening offers several mental and physical health benefits, making it an ideal hobby for many people. According to a study published in the Journal Of Health Psychology, gardening can significantly lower levels of cortisol, the body’s stress hormone. Gardening can reduce stress, improve moods, and enhance overall mental well-being. When you are planting, it requires focus and patience. This can help induce calming and meditative sensations. Gardening promotes physical well-being, because it is a form of low-impact exercise that supports cardiovascular health, flexibility, and strength. Planting, weeding, and watering counts as physical activity that helps nurture a healthier lifestyle. This reduces the risk of chronic diseases such as obesity and heart disease. An increasing visibility of Black-owned plant nurseries marks the rise of plant enthusiasts. Urban Jungle, a Black-owned plant nursery in Philadelphia, has become a local favourite, and is committed to community engagement for the diverse plant selection they have. Likewise, an online community called Black Girl Florists, supports Black women in the plant care industry with network opportunities and resources. Online communities have played a vital role in the growth of Black plant enthusiasts. Instagram platforms, like Black People With Plants, shows the vibrant and diverse community of Black gardeners in tune with healthy living. These online spaces offer tips, inspiration, and a supportive environment for experienced gardeners and gardeners who are just beginning. Highlighting Black gardeners can inspire others to take up this hobby which is very beneficial to providing calmness. Representation is important and seeing people who look like themselves thriving in a garden can encourage more black individuals to explore the therapeutic benefits of plant care. This visibility can also challenge stereotypes to broaden narratives around who engages in gardening activities. The focus on Black plant enthusiasts highlights the importance of community and cultural identity. Gardening can be a way to connect to your roots, as many plants hold cultural significance and history within themselves. For example, growing traditional African plants or herbs can be a way to reconnect with ancestral practices and knowledge. The rise of Black plant enthusiasts is a testimony to the universal appeal and benefits of gardening. In spotlighting this community, we are not only celebrating its contributions to gardening, but also promoting the mental and physical benefits of gardening. Black plant enthusiasts are cultivating spaces for healing and connection.